i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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