We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
