Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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