friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize