38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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