We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
