I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
