I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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