Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
