She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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