My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
