I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
P.S. I can't hear my feet
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
