would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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