Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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