Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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