he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
