Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
