i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Say something about gay babies.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize