So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
