I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
