so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
