Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
