Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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