well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
