Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
