were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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