I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
