yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
