Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Randomize