dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
