Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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