come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
