My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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