what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
