literally had 100 drinks last night.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
