just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
