You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
