Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Randomize
