My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
