she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
