We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
