AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
