How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
it's like heaven, but drunker
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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