Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize