It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
