whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I have post one night stand depression
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
