so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
