She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
