Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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