I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize