when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
