Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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