yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
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