In the future we'll all be gay
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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