I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
