Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
