Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
